Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
