I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize