I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
