I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize