i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
