Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
