I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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