also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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