i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
