What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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