great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
