woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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