Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
