She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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