This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
