Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize