I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
