So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize