sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
