it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
