Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
