He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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