none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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