I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
