Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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