We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
