Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
