And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
