He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
we're so committed to being not committed
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
