She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
