we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Will exercising make me less horny?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
