sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
