I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will be naked everywhere
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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