uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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