Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
