so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
