I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
