turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize