Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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