either way he was missing a nipple.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
