Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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