1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
