I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
