I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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