He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
