How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize