she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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