So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
