Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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