Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
