My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My dick has a subreddit
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize