the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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