i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize