im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Bring me that man meat
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
