I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
