I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
