Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
