It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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