if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
