So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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