Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
