I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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