Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize