when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
