I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
