OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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