Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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