Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
